gross innaccuracies

////

I made this one day, sitting alone and waiting for time to pass. it is titled (hells of unoffically) “i dreamed and wondered but got nowhere in the summers of past lives:”

the french says “I would dream of happier times” and it is kind of deep

i ran out of paint halfway through, you can tell.

our powerless fathers

It is strange, this situation. Strange and somehow wrong, intrinsically, but it is the only thing keeping me from falling into some sort of half-despair. Or something: you catch my drift, yes?

In any case, lately I’ve been super paranoid about having people hate me: it is almost a capital punishment. I cannot bear knowing that people I know and respect think so low of me.
Hence the freaking out I am doing over a Nameless, not that it will actually affect me, but I’d like to be on good standings with them because we had a sort of okay friendship that abruptly ceased due to events I was not aware of. And, incidentally, am not aware of even now.

But since it’s not really a problem now (and I don’t expect it to be one any time soon), I’m going to let sleeping dogs lie and deal with it when it becomes one.

Later.

famine affair

Due tospending about three hours today working on an Of Montreal contest remix, I have the titular song stuck in my head. It is agony.

Also haven’t been writing much lately, that reason is SENIOR YEAR and by third quarter it will be back to normal updates.

Till then check out my tumblr, or bug me with comments. I will be writing. Less. But still writing.

theydidntwait.tumblr.com

Laterrrrr

as strong as you like

Today: real exciting.
so all last night i kept sitting up, fully awake, and just staring into the darkness of my closet until I fell asleep again (and subsequently fell back onto my pillow). It was strange and I hope I can sleep better tonight, but my stomach is gurgling in horrid ways and I sincerely hope it stops.
Anyway! At 11ish I had to go into school for a soundcheck and was subjected to some terrible anti-bully rap/dance routines. That’s supposed to be the theme of the shindig. I am playing Beirut’s “Nantes,” or if I decide last minute that I don’t want to I’ll play something like “2080” and terrify the bastards.
Also! I got my teeth cleaned and stuff!
And then, finally (damn it), I got home and went to the firefighters’ picnic, where I ran into Lil and Rybear and frolicked bout with them and lamented “THERE IS ONLY MEEEEAAATTT” which made me a little distraught.
I then sauntered up to my humble abode, where I taught Ryan how to make meringues, took a lot of photos on his phone, yelled at my sister, kept my dog from licking passersby, snuggleed with Lil, yelled at the Joker, and– well, watched movies and ate meringues and bread. And meat. MEATTTT

heavenly

I’ve continually deliberating it would be high-minded to should prefer to those water jest shoes against when I do open-air sports such as canoeing and dragon boating. These certain sports shoes serve to deuterium oxide outside sports in particular because of the examination neighbourly apparatus it is made of. When I cease functioning canoeing, I used to either put aside with my bare feet or slippers, but was ever after having problems with both. Being bare-ass footed meant that I sway away mar close any debris that may summarize when I escort on the sand or in the not ring true while getting in or gone from of my canoe. When I sport slippers, sometimes it really gets in the road when my feet descend in the mud during low-lying tide. It was when my slipper got stuck when I knew I had to organize an open-air sports relaxation shoes. I decided to remember of it as a stupendous investment as it would ways gambler and cleaner feet. I don’t recognize why I didn’t think of getting such sport shoes in the senior place. I conjecture it was because my impression of sport shoes was unceasingly for running, and not for other out of doors sports.

So when I saw the == on DealtoWorld.com, I was indeed stable I wanted it. Not merely can I wheedle a great tandem of outdoor shoes in place of my water sports, I can bear a fivefingers one! Not unswerving why they call it fivefingers despite the fact that, since as a matter of fact the wear shoes is in the shape of your five toes. This enables a better dominion on where you walk, which is firstly great pro walking on the beach and shallow waters. I’ve forever been a devotee of “fivefingers” or toe socks, so this green outdoor shoes of wealth is making me more fervid with my weekend outdoor sports endeavor.

=== steady made me a happy camper this but, letting me own this celebrated pair of sport shoes reasonable when I needed it. I’ve bought other lifestyle gadgets from DealtoWorld.com but this is the before time I bought sport shoes from any online shopping site. I without exception brown study it unsurpassed to have a stab on any shoes, be it diversion shoes, leather shoes, slippers, etc. or else you won’t be sure whether it’s a great fit. Setting aside how, I couldn’t at the end of the day arouse wares deuterium oxide out of doors sports divertissement shoes, so this get back has undoubtedly enhanced my DealtoWorld.com shopping happening, or my online shopping as a whole.

With it when I go past for my weekly canoeing or dragon boating, my teammates are all pretty amused before my fivefingers flaunt shoes, and stare at them looking for some time. I divine the toe-shaped relaxation shoes makes it look like a cobweb of some throw, but it’s not like I can swim in these fivefingers shoes. I’m discovery the alfresco sports shoes dialect right comfortable, and although I cannot beat a hasty retreat with it as I would with predictable constant distraction shoes, at least I can go out on strike along the pontoon or coast arena in plenty, atypical when I hand-me-down to shamble barefooted. My feet tempered to to hurt or communicate with scorched from the fervid clay, but not with these fivefingers recreation shoes I don’t. Take a look at the pictures to undertake how the fivefingers out of doors sports sport shoes look like from the cork and bottom.

=================

the above is a frigging awesome spam comment I got a few days ago. Whoever wrote it needs to get a better translator, because whichever one they’re using really sucks.

“dragon boating?”

DRAGON BOATING?!

REAL POST SOON

hammerhead

I don’t know a lot about things.
One thing that has given me much consternation in the past and will continue to give me consternation in the future is my total and utter inability to understand people. To read people. To figure out their emotions toward you, toward inanimate objects, towards other people.
It is for this reason that I am tormented by the idea of someone hating me, mainly because I will constantly ask myself what I could be doing wrong and trying not to bother the person and so on and so on. Usually this just makes the friendship I am trying so desperately to cultivate unravel. So frustrating.
Currently wondering the very question above about a few people. I am scared and I am hoping my assumption is false because I would in all honesty like to be these people’s friend and little else. Maybe someone with which to exchange words, perhaps. Or something. It is difficult and it is annoying and it makes me want to try and forget about people and just go to some out-of-the-way island somewhere in the Azores and play Smiths records all day, alone, letting Morrissey sing me to sleep and not caring a whit about any other human activity and/or judgementalness.

fences

I think I am digging the accompanying Wolfgang Amadeus Pheonix remix CD more than the actual album. This is not suprising. I’ve been listening to the damn thing for the last three weeks, it works very well as “wake up plz” music.

“Hello moon… Bitchin’.” <- this is courtesy Parker. I will, one day, put this on a shirt and wear it and feel good about myself.

WELL this week I went kayaking with all the ladies in my class, which was supposed to be a "team building" excercise but in reality just ended up having us go into pairs and kayak around boats whilst having one person blindfolded. Yay communication! I think I can now reliably tell you which side is my right/left without having to consult any table of knowledge.
Ohhh speaking of that, I am learning to dive since I need to know in order to get a job. Also I am applying for the semifinals of the Merit Scholar, woo!
–I just had to run to the main computer and send my essay out, actually. It's due tomorrow. Phew.
That's not all I did since last post. I also fufilled my goal of making something bigger than myself- said "something" is an 8-foot long piece of paper that would've ordinarily been used to cover the bulletin board but now has a black tempera person outlined on it (kinda) and swirly things and will be camera'd tomorrow if I can wrangle it.

ALSO: a bit of drama. I'm gonna let it ferment a while and see if it amounts to anything. If so, I'll consider writing more details. If not, it shall fade into obscurity.

AND TOMORROW IS MUSTACHE DAY, OH MY JESUS YES.

will write later.

enemy gene

today was pretty decent. I printed the last few prints in the firs run: going to be sending those out soon so if you have given me your address prepare yourself for excellence of the highest degree. Exciting!
Tomorrow morning the entire senior class is going to embark on “team-building exercises,” which sounds rather appealingly vague. We are going kayaking! The boys are doing the ropes course out at the Boy Scout camp, of which I am super jealous. I guess that girls aren’t allowed within fifty feet of the Scout area. Our cooties would infect it.

Listening to False Priest again and again. I don’t think I will get tired of it anytime soon.

THAT’S ALL I GOT AT THE MOMENT

will write later re: idea for project.

drummer

Sometimes I wish I was someone else, just to see how another person percieves the world.

august flowers

Cheesus, today. I took the Chem SAT II today, which actually was not nearly as bad as it could have been and ended up being painless as fuck; it is also the last standardised test I have to take, ever. Yessssssss. I am very happy about this development.
Then, well, I sat around the house with Genna for a few hours before going over to Hannah’s and eating pancakes and laughing at Matt Car and making macramé bracelets (ballah.) and doing shots of maple syrup, which is exactly as disgusting as it sounds. Never again. It’s like doublefisting diabetes. Also, shotglass shaped like a boot? Yes plz.
Then we went on an adventure, Matt Car’s jeep tried to kidnap me, we played leapfrog on John’s lawn and were subsequently caught by his dad (who does not know me, hence, awkwardness). I have only met John once, and he was very drunk that one time. So I’ve no clue if he recognised me as “that sobriety fairy from the party” or “some random chick with largish boobs who hangs with Hannah” or something similar. Dudes. They are bizarre.

Hardest word to say: rural. Try it.

OKAY so I finally put together Rayquan’s toasty earrings, they are fucking masterpieces. Srsly.
And also, my principal is in my house talking to my parents during their monthly dinner party. It is feeling like an invasion of privacy. I want to get out of here but there is no way I can sneak past him, unless I kick out the mosquito grille on my window and emerge triumphant on my front lawn. I wouldn’t have a mode of transportation, though, which would hella suck.

Will write laterrrrrs.