for the promise of light

24 Sep

yellow book progress: 98% full. I am psyched. I have a place where it will go, and I’ll post that link as soon as I’ve put some of the pages up. I want to put them all on a PDF file, but I don’t have the slightest idea how to do that so I won’t.

Writing this during Physics class, we’re taking a test that makes me want to punch someone or maybe just throw the whole course out the window. It is annoying, it is repetitive, it is fucking ridiculous.

I am wearing suspenders. I guess this redeems my day a little, seeing as this morning my friend who shall not be named comes striding into Mrs. Grace’s room loudly expressing how “pissed off” he is. And then proceeds to call me a bitch. First of all, rude, second of all, what gives you the right to walk on into a room full of relatively well-adjusted people and explode your anger out on all of them? Um, nothing does. You should be able to control you own anger, and maybe keep it inside you for a little while, and figure out what about it is really making you angry. If it’s something someone said, then you don’t really have to take that to heart- discount it for now, and then later when you’re on your own rationalize why the person said it. It’s okay to whine about calculus or physics in Mrs. Grace’s room, but keep your personal shit to yourself. Especially if it’s personal shit that makes you mad.

</rant>

The whole anger thing, though, didn’t bug me as much as the bitch-calling did. I am usually hells of alright with being called things, seeing as I’ve been bullied a lot growing up, but this was just pointless name-calling. And it hurt! I didn’t expect that. I was halfway towards slapping you when the bell rang, nameless friend, but luckily I escaped due to a handy intervention. Don’t call me a bitch. Don’t call me a whore. Don’t call me anything you think is appropriate, because I will fucking knock your block off.

oh jeez, that sounded a lot more threatening than I meant it to.

that’s all for now. Will write more later.

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