two weeks

21 Aug

At this moment in time, I am probably one of the happier people in existence. It’s not because any of my worries hae resolved itself, it’s not due to boy troubles, it’s not due to anything I’d consider really significant to blog about.
Except I’m realizing stuff as this summer wears on. I’m realizing that my eyes were both blinded and silent, that they should’ve, could’ve seen things and changed things but my focus was on some unreachable point that I tried to get to anyway.
I am rapidly realizing that I am not as strange or as much of an outcast as I make myself out to be. I have people who respect me all around me: I just used to not appreciate their respect. The only person I wanted respect from was the person I was currently infatuated with, which was just a bad thing to want when I was going about things the way I was.
Right now the person I want to give me respect was already doing so even before I realized I wanted him to. I gave him my respect before I knew it, too. And thusly, with that little exchange, it was like my eyes were opened to all the other people whom I’d taken for granted for so long.

It’s a good feeling, to know you’re held in high esteem by others. A strange, foreign feeling, sometimes: but mostly it is warm and peaceful.

Will write later.


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