revel in slumber

20 Aug

Aah: the world.
Something about the days slipping by has left me feeling both hopeful and downtrodden, a strange mix of cynicism and idealism. These dog days are smashing the jars inside my chest that previously held everything nicely compartementalized, my sadness partitoned away from my anger, happiness away from disappointment. That was then: now is now, a soup swimming away with my thoughts and swirling down the drain, off to other uncharted regions.

Yesterday’s post, besides being long as fuck, also was a way for me to expel a lot of the pissed-offedness that I’d been feeling since I got home. There were a lot of unanswered questions that I left in Paris, and well writing that seemed to sort of conjure up answers that satisfied me, at least for now.
At the moment, though: listening to gratuitous amounts of CocoRosie and Warpaint and Tame Impalas (a psychadelic garagey band that I saw someone post on Facebook and dug immensely, I may do more research) and thinking about maybe writing another screenplay, though the current one needs rewriting. I was never good at that sort of thing, fixing my words.

I also want to paint, to make some art, but all the ideas I have come out funny on paper, more distorted and wrong than I intended. I think I’m going to make more prints this year, send them to people. Hum. We’ll see.

When it gets to this time of year, the moments before school begins and I am swept up in that ridiculous giddy business, I start proposing great projects that I never get around to. It’s kind of a disappointment, really, but a disappointment I think I can at least live with.

Going to write some poetry, maybe.
Will write tomorrow.

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