bands as people

16 May

Here goes:

Animal Collective was tall, and skinny, and knew a lot about the world, but was still a geek and you loved that about him.

Beirut wasn’t the sort of person you could just be friends with, as you found when he laid you on his bed whispering French phrases under his breath.

Final Fantasy was awkward but spoke so beautifully it kind of hurt to shut him up with your lips.

Kings of Leon were a truckful of hicks who were your best friends and gave you too much beer to actually drink, but then they went on a road trip and came back refined and changed completely.

My Morning Jacket didn’t exactly understand what you asked for the first time, got it halfway through, then forgot it the next time you met.

The Smiths is the forty something guy who works in a record store that all your friends want to fuck.

Modest Mouse kept on running into you at the strangest times, but he didn’t understand why either and demanded to know your name.

Noah and the Whale was vibrant and a little morbid until she broke up with her boyfriend, then was totally inconsolable inbetween bouts of rebound sex.

Vampire Weekend was pretentious and somehow got you into bed with his eight-syllable vocabulary.

White Denim liked to drive through cow pastures in the wee hours of the morning, then light bonfires that usually ended up being sex and not much else.

White Rabbits, Spoon’s cousin, sauntered over and bought you dinner, then took you around town and up to the roof of his apartment building before even asking your name.

Alvin Band didn’t really want to admit it, but he didn’t really want to know who you were, just if you’d help him pay for some acid.

Death Cab was your boyfriend way back when, but he grew up and got happier and happier. He is still okay to come crying to, but not for much else.

TuNe-YaRdS was the mournful girl you tried to sit beside every day on the subway, and the day she finally talked to you she grabbed your hand and led you out to the ocean, then kissed you so hard you couldn’t breathe.

The Kooks was a good fuck but didn’t say much afterwards.

The Strokes were deeply in love at first, but as time went on grew further and further away until they split completely. You mourn their better days.

Any more suggestions?

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