purple paisley wallpaper

1 Jan

Okay, maybe I do need to come up with more relevant titles, as the last few have just been words that attack my cerebrum.
Anyway, misnomer titles aside, I am kind of conflicted at the moment- oh, nothing about Bortglomt or any other hard-to-pronounce faux-Svenska name, but about myself and what I’m going to do with this mind of mine.
I always thought, as a little kid, that once you hit sixteen suddenly every mystery of the world became known to you, the floodgates of all this adult knowledge rushing into your head. Well, I did learn some ‘adult’ knowledge (haha), but not the type I’d thought. I imagined miraculous abilities to drive cars and have good penmanship and instantly being able to solve long-division problems.
False.
I turned sixteen last August, waited a week for the life-changing meteor of semi-adulthood to hit, gave up, and kept bein’ a kid.
My seven-year-old self would be displeased.
But seriously now, what the hell am I going to do? I don’t want to go to college, get a degree, be snapped up by some high-end corporation, and work in a cubicle for the rest of my life, maybe getting married and squeezing a few wailing rutabagas out, then being stuck with a fat balding husband who spills beer on the floor and forgets to cook supper so I can eat after the PTA meeting…
Gosh, I am cynical.
But basically, what I’m trying to get across here is that growing up really, really sucks. I mean sure, living without parents, yay! Paying utility bills and studying till the wee hours, not so yay! Plus then suddenly you have to get a job (this is gonna be a bitch for me-no experience, very few skills…maybe I can read books to small children or work in a record store), and what with the economy these days…

Sorry for such a melancholy post, especially on New Year’s Day- hope you all feel good and aren’t too pessimistic.

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